1.
"Hey
buddy,
remember
when
you
used
to
have
hair?
Well,
now
you're
as
shiny
as
a
bowling
ball!"】
2.
"You
know,
I
always
thought
you
were
the
poster
child
for
'bad
jokes,'
but
your
fashion
sense
is
even
worse!"】
3.
"I
just
saw
a
monkey
at
the
zoo
that
can
do
a
better
impression
of
you
than
you
can!"】
4.
"Congratulations
on
becoming
the
best
alarm
clock
I've
ever
had.
Your
snoring
is
truly
a
work
of
art!"】
5.
"I've
come
to
the
conclusion
that
your
selfies
should
come
with
a
health
warning
-
they're
so
ugly,
they'll
give
people
heart
attacks!"】
6.
"You
always
told
me
you
had
a
green
thumb,
but
I
didn't
know
you
literally
turned
everything
you
touch
into
mold!"】
7.
"I
love
how
you've
managed
to
turn
procrastination
into
such
an
art
form.
Michaelangelo
must
be
jealous!"】
8.
"If
laziness
was
an
Olympic
sport,
you'd
be
the
undisputed
champion.
Gold
medal
material
right
there!"】
9.
"I
found
a
picture
of
you
from
high
school,
and
let's
just
say
it
seems
like
your
face
and
puberty
had
a
bit
of
a
fallout!"】
10.
"You're
like
a
walking
GPS,
always
getting
lost
and
leading
us
in
the
wrong
direction.
Thanks
for
nothing!"】
11.
"They
say
laughter
is
contagious,
but
I'm
starting
to
think
your
jokes
could
be
classified
as
biological
weapons!"】
12.
"You
must
have
a
good
relationship
with
gravity
because
you
fall
for
things
pretty
easily,
my
friend!"】
13.
"You're
so
good
at
keeping
secrets,
mainly
because
most
people
can't
understand
what
you're
saying
half
the
time!"】
14.
"You
should
start
charging
for
your
advice
because
it's
about
as
helpful
as
an
umbrella
in
a
hurricane!"】
15.
"I
once
showed
my
pet
cat
a
picture
of
you,
and
she
hissed
and
ran
away.
Cats
have
great
taste!"】
16.
"If
there
was
an
award
for
the
clumsiest
person
alive,
you'd
have
a
trophy
room
bigger
than
Cristiano
Ronaldo!"】
17.
"They
say
that
everyone
has
a
doppelgänger,
but
your
look-alike
must
live
on
another
planet!"】
18.
"You've
got
a
memory
like
a
sieve,
my
friend.
I
have
to
remind
you
of
your
own
birthday
every
year!"】
19.
"You're
so
forgetful
that
if
your
brain
was
a
hard
drive,
it
would
need
constant
defragmentation!"】
20.
"I
heard
a
rumor
that
scientists
want
to
study
your
brain,
not
because
it's
advanced,
but
because
it's
a
real
mystery!"】